How to Talk to Teens

If you have teenagers in your home you know how difficult it can be to talk to them. While every teen is different, even the most easy-going, pleasant teens can have their moments.

As a mom of two teenagers, I know the ups and downs of trying to communicate with my kids. The best strategy that works for me is to try to keep conversations open, look for opportunities for discussion, and capitalize on moments when they feel like talking (even when I don't).

Keep the conversations open:
Just because we walk away from the conversation doesn't mean the subject is closed. If you feel that you didn't communicate everything you wanted to, revisit the topic again. If it was an especially tough or tense subject, make sure they are a little more relaxed when you bring it up the next time. If you were the one who was upset, wait until you calm down.

Look for opportunities for discussion:
Places like the car or family dinner are great for asking your kids about their day and what's going on in their lives. Be sure to tell them about your day as well, but don't monopolize the conversation.

Capitalize on moments when they feel like talking:
This is a tough one for me. Often when they feel like talking the most is when I'm ready to shut down for the day or have my mind focused on something else. It's very important though to pick up on cues that your teen is ready to talk. These are the moments when they need you to listen and to be there for them. Depending on your teen, these moments can come often or rarely.

If you would like more information and suggestions on how to talk to your teen, be sure to read: Having Trouble Talking to Teens: Help for Parents of Teenagers.

Negative Influences on Children

How do you help your child make the right friends? What do you do when your child has a friend that your don’t approve of? How do you respond when you feel your son or daughter is being negatively influenced by someone else?

It’s difficult for parents to sit by and watch the values we’ve taught our kids slip away. One of the toughest things about parenting has been combating negative influences. These influences can come from a variety of sources, such as television, radio, internet, extended family, and friends at school. Our job as parents is to help our children navigate through these other influences to help them learn how to make wise choices.

There are several steps that parents can take to combat these negative influences:

• Working to help your child choose friendships wisely
• Learning how to respond when you don’t approve of their friends
• Knowing the actions available when the negative influence takes control

For more information on each of these steps click on Parenting Help: Combating Negative Influences and help your child make wise choices today.

How to Get Your Kids to Obey

Getting children to obey their parents is often overwhelming. It's common for parents today to be frustrated by misbehavior and disobedience. We all want our kids to be good, well behaved, happy, respectful, and polite. While sometimes a child seems defiant and rebellious, sometimes, it's just because they really just aren’t sure what is expected of them. What can moms and dads do to help their kids mind?

Start by establishing clear and concise rules for your kids to follow. These rules need to be:

• Short - they should be able to memorize them.
• Simple - kids should be clear on what's expected.
• Fun - remember that they are kids

For more information on how establishing simple rules can help you get your kids to obey read: Parenting Tip: Simple Rules to Help Kids Obey. By setting clear boundaries and expectations early, you can set your kids up for success and help them learn to obey.

Children should be seen and not heard?

"Children should be seen and not heard," That's what my dad used to say! As a mom of three kids ages 16, 14, and 10, I don’t have all the answers. but I do know that that is not often the case. Kids are noisy! They giggle, scream, yell, laugh, talk, chatter, bang toys, jump, and then giggle some more. Even as they get older, the noise level never really seems to decrease.

What do you do when you want to get the noisy kids to be quiet? There are several things you can do to control the noise level with your children at home, when riding in the car, when eating at restaurants, or even while visiting the library. Here are a few quick tips to bring some peace and quiet to you day:

• Whisper - When their noise level is too loud. Try whispering to get their attention. See what happens.
• Tiptoeing – When you hear heavy feet running and jumping, try tiptoeing and see it they follow suit.
• Prepare ahead of time – For outings to restaurants, the library, or trips in the car, come prepared with some emergency snacks and activities.
• Give them a loud voice outlet – Kids will only be quiet for so long. Make sure there is some time built into the day where they are free to be as loud and rambunctious as they want.

These how-to tips can help bring peace and calm. Read Help for Parents: Getting Noisy Kids to be Quiet to learn more about how to calmly get those noisy kids to be quiet!